A parody that mirrors the time-line of JK Rowling's Book: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Harry Potter Book 2). Though this book is a parody of book 2, it is the first book of this series....

Chapter 1 – The Sorting Hat High above, on the side of a cliff, stood the largest castle I'd ever seen—ever imagined. The windows glowed with candlelight, as the last desperate rays of light silhouetted the castle against a gray sky. I knew Britain was famous for old crumbly buildings, but this place was ridiculous. One of the teachers announced, "First years, wait here. In a moment, we'll enter the Great Hall where you'll be sorted into houses." As we waited to enter, all the talk seemed to be about was how much they didn't want to be in a house called Slipperen. "What house are you hoping to be sorted into, Austin?" Colin asked me. "Ummm." I looked at the age and general condition of the place. "One that doesn't leak." "I'm going to be in Gryffinbore. I hope." Gryffinbore, Slipperen, who thought up these names? Inside, the hall was huge, and the ceiling looked as if it was open to the sky. Candles floated above the table. I swear I could almost see invisible strings holding them up. Though quite impressive, the effect screamed fire hazard. We waited for our names to be called, then sat down on a stool in front of the e...

Chapter 1 – The Sorting Hat Chapter 2 – Platform What?! Chapter 3 – Professor Smape Chapter 4 – Lost and Found Chapter 5 – The Boy Who Lived Chapter 6 – Stood Up Chapter 7 – The Darkest Dungeon Chapter 8 – The Wand Chapter 9 – Quitlage or Die! Chapter 10 – The Plotter Posse Chapter 11 – Bubbles and the Unbreakable Vow Chapter 12 – Bubbles of Trouble Chapter 13 – The Swelling Scandal Chapter 14 – Dueling Dilemma Chapter 15 – Secret Favors Chapter 16 – Christmas Streaking Chapter 17 – Tall Tails Chapter 18 – It's the Pipes, Stupid Chapter 19 – Dumblesnore Sours Chapter 20 – Hermione's Danger Chapter 21 –The House Cup ...